So this is me broken physically, but even more so emotionally, during the Ironman 70.3 World Championships 2017.   It was not the race I had envisioned, but finishing this race was much bigger than me, rankings, or performances.  

How did I get here?  Let's rewind...

So 12 months ago I did my first 70.3 distance race and I won my age group, qualifying me for the world championships! The corporate machine of Ironman makes you buy your world championship registration right there on the spot or else it is lost. From a business perspective brilliant, from a personal perspective, kinda evil... So there I was about $600 committed to an event that was happening 12 months later.

What can happen in 12 months?

Well, nothing significant for about 9-10 months and my training was better than ever! Each race I did I was able to find new depths and surprise myself. I was starting to dream big about the world championships. 

Then, about 8-10 weeks before worlds, life started to happen in big ways. 

Looking back I can’t believe everything that happened. At the time I was shell shocked, and now it already seems like a foggy dream. If you want the long version click here.

Otherwise, here is the short version:

Over the summer, Kristin and I began pursuing private adoption of a sweet little baby girl(named Ahnae). All things were looking positive and the birth mother was deliberately working with us to make this happen.  We even became the legal caregivers for Ahnae when she was born!  Everything was so surreal and wonderful, I finally had a daughter!   

It was not all roses, it was very difficult to have a newborn baby again, and of course this took a toll on my training.  With our motto of “Family First Triathlete” I did not hesitate to sacrifice training for my family.  It was also “convenient” that I had developed achilles tendonitis, so I couldn’t really run anyways. The injury was actually anything but convenient, however, having a newborn baby to care for kept me from dwelling on the miserable reality of my fitness slipping away.  Despite all of this, Kristin encouraged me to book my ticket and go to Chattanooga, TN  for the Ironman 70.3 World Championships.  Now I am about $1500 committed to this race with 1 month to go.

What could happen in 1 month, right? Well...

1 week before my flight, we got hit with a bombshell.  Out of the blue and very suddenly the birth mother decided that she wanted the baby back.  Our whole family was devastated.  Kristin and I spent the next several, sleepless days, talking to: lawyers, the birth mother, our close friends, family, and more; seeking advice and weighing all the options trying our best to keep the baby girl’s future as the most important factor in all the conversations.  Very long complicated story short, we decided to give the baby back to the birth mother.

This all happened the day I left for Chattanooga!

• Night before “honey(Kristin), are you sure you still want me to go? I am completely fine staying.”  

• 5AM wake up for coaching morning swim practice at school.  I could barely focus on coaching. 

• Later in the morning “Dear(Kristin), are you sure you will be ok?”

• 11AM we had a sad but sweet good-bye with Ahnae as we gave her back to the birth mom.

• 1PM meeting at work (‘Just try to hold it together...’)

• 2PM leaving for the airport “Kristin, are you absolutely sure I should go?” Kristin: “I would feel more guilty if you stayed.”

• 5PM on the plane, can't hold it together anymore...broken.  A 12hr flight where all I can do is just sit there and think about the dramatic whirlwind we just went through.   

I wonder what people around me thought as I whimpered and sniffled my way through movies on the plane.  Maybe they thought I was just an overly sensitive guy who really cared about Transformers and Avengers... 

This was the most miserable and difficult situation to leave on.  I just gave away a child, and now I am leaving my beloved wife and 3 boys as they are all grieving as well. 

It was a relief to arrive in Chattanooga.  I was able to stay and visit with familiar friends from my childhood. I could relax and unwind and not feel pressured to socialize or keep appearances. The hospitality was amazing and exactly what I needed.

Also, my parents came to the race. To have time to speak freely and know I was supported no matter what, was just what I needed to keep me encouraged and pushing through the weekend.

The Swim

Most of the swim was upstream and felt like I was in a water treadmill. I took the first 500m out too hard trying to catch the feet of the heat in front of me. They sent us off in heats of about 8 people at a time.  I purposely went in the second heat of my age group because I thought the hold time would be 5-10 sec. between sendoffs. For whatever reason they held my heat 15-20 sec.  My goal was to close the gap and catch their feet before the first buoy (200m) because at the first buoy we turned to go upstream. Well, this did not happen. I closed the gap about half way but found myself isolated going upstream trailing the lead pack by about 15m. Had I been smart I would have settled into race pace at this point and minimized my losses. Not me, I continued to push and grind for another 200ish meters before coming to my senses. During that 200m I held the 15m gap basically at a stalemate. As soon as I let off the gas I felt the all too familiar feeling of fingers on my feet…. At this point I realized that I was the fool and there were 2 guys there at my feet along for the ride.  Looking back now, this is a great lesson to learn from.   

The Bike

Fortunately I had the opportunity to do some bike recon the days leading up to the race including a full course preview from a helicopter!  Thanks Rockcreek Aviation!

I settled into a good groove early in the bike and I even worked my way into my highest position of the day, 4th in the age group!

Sadly the race did not end here… I still had the majority of the bike and run to go.

The bike course was epic and worthy of a championship course.  We went right to the top of Lookout Mountain and then continued to roll up and down till the halfway point.  The second half of the bike was rather flat, but the damage had been done.  My power (watts) faded the last 30km for a few reasons. 1.) I was fatigued and slightly undertrained.  2.) There were huge packs of cyclists and I was determined not to draft.  3.) I still have not figured out my nutrition needs for long distance triathlons.

The last couple kilometers of the bike were ominous as I felt “twinges” in my hamstrings and the beginnings of cramps; not good, I haven't started the run yet...

The Run

The 1st KM of the run went by ok...WHAT!?? there's 20 more to go!!?

It wasn't but 5km into the run before the first full cramp came and made me stumble to a stop. Fortunately there were plenty of aid stations. It was humbling to be brought to a standstill on the run, but I'm not surprised. Especially at this distance, there is no “faking it” with “talent”.  Any weaknes you have will be exploited on the run.  Any other day, any other race, I would have packed it up and called it quits. But this day, after what I had been through, my family had been through, there was no way I wasn’t crossing the finish line!  Too much sacrifice from so many people went in to me being there.  

I owed it to the boys..

I owed it to Ahnae..

I owed it to Kristin..

I was going to finish.

I went into damage control and began a ‘run till you cramp then stretch/walk’ method then repeat many many times.  I managed to cross the line at 5:01, so thankful to be done!